Money Miz's Memo on Advertising

Memo

To: Record Executives, Music Industry Advertisers, Radio Stations, MTV, BET
From: Money Miz
Re: New Advertising Law
Date: 2/11/2010
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Effective immediately: The United States Congress has passed into law a new regulation on the advertising of Hip Hop music. Any radio or television commercials MUST have warning disclaimers included at the end similar to the warnings included in all pharmaceutical or medicine advertisements. These warnings must clearly and simply describe any and all side effects that may be caused by listening to the music. Advertisements not including such warnings will result in heavy fines for the advertising company and the company broadcasting the advertisements. An example of a warning disclaimer can be found below (in my TV commercial deep announcer voice):

"This album contains obnoxious levels of auto-tune, R&B choruses, repetitive boring content, complete and utter fabrications of illegal activity, several lines that do not even rhyme, beats that use "hand-claps" instead of snare drums, rappers trying to sing but failing miserably, extreme usage of cross-over content, excessive usage of gun-shot and "click-clack" sounds, and improper (but entertaining) objectification of women."

"Some people have had changes in behavior, hostility, agitation, depressed mood, and suicidal thoughts or actions while listening or after listening to Hip Hop. In some instances people have experienced serious side effects such as: wanting to paper cut their eyeballs, banging their heads into walls repeatedly, and attempting to record an album themselves because if Lil Wayne can do it then anyone can. Other listeners have experienced side effects that considerably reduced their I.Q. and even reduced their intelligence to levels seen in people with down syndrome."

"If you notice agitation, hostility, depression or changes in behavior, thinking or mood that are not typical of you, or if you develop suicidal thoughts or actions, STOP listening to the BULLSHIT and call your doctor right away. If you notice reduction in your penis size, loss of vision, or have an erection lasting more than four hours because you're gay and want to fuck Lil Wayne in his 4 foot 11 inch ass, then contact the record executive who put the album out and slap the shit out of him and his momma!!!"

"If none of this works and your suicidal thoughts persist, then go ahead and BODY YOURSELF because you're absolutely fucked at this point."

These disclaimers must be added to all advertisements IMMEDIATELY.